Run you stupid feet!



My morning run was tedious.  It kind of sucked.  There was no va-va-voom, no insight, no gestalt, nada...  I just ran like a Hamster on a wheel.  Bummer.

But I didn't quit!  That, I guess, is something to put on the "It wasn't a total waste of time!" shelf.  It's important to have that shelf.  I keep  many past relationships, awards, jobs.... college, on that shelf. It's a good shelf.

I also paid attention to my breathing and managed to work through a couple of cramps.  It just felt bleck.  Blaaah.  Uninspired.  I guess there are always going to be days like that. Perhaps you just have to motor on.  If every run was Chariots of Fire it wouldn't mean as much.  Maybe its time to mix up my route, change things up?

I posted on ye ole Facebook that I signed up for the Staten Island Half Marathon.  The result was demoralizing to say the least.  Everyone says its a beast of a Half.  ALL HILLS.  One may look upon that and shudder, but I figure that if there are a lot of big uphills, there must be some long downhills as well.  I will get up 'em and catch my breather on the downhill.  Or at least that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Time to ice the old knees.  I am making myself a pizza tonight!  I used the Franny's cold proof recipe.  It calls for, basically, a 60 hour cold proof.  I am thinking clams.  Or turkey meatballs.  I earned it.

****I ended up making a meatball pizza,

GNAW! MUNCH! CHOMP!

Rainy Monday


I have a suspicion that I am going to need more running gear.

I ran in the rain today and it kind of sucked.  I imagine a warm summer shower is pleasant, but 40'ish degrees in a downpour is far from fun.  I ran with my running group, The Crown Heights Running Club (CHRC), and I managed to keep up, more or less.  I was gassed the whole time until our pacer (who stuck close to me) suggested that I pay attention to my breathing;

"Are you holding your breath?"
"Well, I'm letting it out slowly..."
"Don't.  Deep breath in.  Exhale."
"Ok."

I tried that and it helped.  Amazingly so.  I imagine it will take me a while to breath correctly all the time, but it is high on my to do list.  Funny I didn't realize, or consider, I was breathing incorrectly.

I just signed up for The Staten Island Half Marathon.  It's in October so I imagine I have some time to prepare.  I need a real plan as I do not want to get injured.  I'm not terribly concerned with time.  I am more focused on form, breathing, and keeping a steady pace.

Ok.  I'm hungry.  El Tortuga needs comida.

Getting there


So, I think I have passed on through to a new stage (?) in my running.  I was out the door this morning and was running at a pretty effortless pace for a good bit.  I made my self slow down after a mile or so because I wanted to try and run 7 miles.  I made it to the park and felt really great.  It was a bit cold and I wish I had brought gloves, but I felt good.  I was sans headphones and just grooving on the scenery.

There was a bike race going on in the park so the folks running had to be aware and stay a little to the side.  I chuckled to myself as I never see cyclists in the park if there are ANY clouds.  They must have been pissed to have to cycle on an overcast day.  What a bunch of jerks.  They are also very angry and yell at each other when they race.  Assholes (i'm sure they are nice, but they are nowhere to be seen when it gets cloudy or cold and they really do scream at each other a lot).

I stuck to the trails as much as I could and tried to utilize the asphalt only when necessary.  I am really starting to enjoy the trails and I assume they are better for my knees, hips, etc...  I see myself possibly making some day trips to a state park or two, in the future, to run some more "serious" trails.  It feels great.  I won't say that I feel springy when I run, but I feel less cinder-block-footed.

I ran around my loop (4.2'ish miles from my front door) and after getting up the big hill I still felt pretty good.  I did the inner loop next (2.5 miles) and hit the hill for a second time.  It was not horrible, but it was far from fun.  I continued until I got home and my app told me I had run 7.35 miles at a 10:43 avg pace.  That is a fist pump time for me.  Mid way through the inner loop I started to feel some real tightness in my quads, specifically the back of my quads and I just focused on, slowly,  running the soreness out.

I learned quite a bit today.  I learned that the reserves are, generally, there if you need them and that not all pain is a threat.  I think I am starting to get pretty good at noticing basic fatigue and pushing through it.  I have no idea what dehydration feels like, or what "I need to stop now" pain is.  I imagine like all other runners I will find out.

After I went to Dim Sum with a buddy and his son.  We hadn't seen each other in a long time and it was great to catch up.  I will run a short, slow, recover run tomorrow and then take Tuesday off.  Whoo-hoo!

He liked his woman brown, Puerto Rican and Hatian.....



Phife Dawg passed away today from from diabetes related disease.  He was 45 years old.  One year older than me.  What comes with his passing is grief and sadness, but also the self analysis that often comes with the passing of someone other than you. The more I run the more I think about what I put in my body and the more I think about it the more terrified I get.  Am I going to sustain myself on a diet of mung bean sprouts and almond milk for the rest of my days?  Will I be able to live life well and still house an occasional pizza?  Will the glorious bacon cheeseburger never be able to come knockin' on my mouth-door again?  These are some serious issues compadres...

I started running on earthen paths where I can find 'em in Prospect Park.  It feels a little unnatural, but I like that each step feels a little different.  When I do this I see the image of me running easy much clearer in my mind.  I take smaller strides as I am mindful of twigs, roots, pebbles, dog shit and such. My time is still shit, but today's five miler really felt GOOD.  I felt that I had enough gas to run 3 more miles, but used some restraint and thought of my Coach shaking her head in frustration as I push myself too hard, too fast.  For you Coach I show restraint.

I don't think I am ready to embrace the intervals, or hills, just yet.  I want to focus on distance and form.  When I can run 12-15 miles in a go I will dedicate a day a week to work on speed and endurance.  I am not competitive by nature and I think my goals should reflect that... somewhat. Maybe a more realistic goal is 25 miles a week?  I could build up to that.

I went for a drive to Bay Ridge today for lunch at my favorite Szechuan place.  They must have hired a new cook, because it was kind of mediocre.  I guess i'll have to find joy in brown rice and steamed vegetables after all....  or not.

RIP Malik Isaac Taylor

new personal best



I went out with some friends last night and probably had two too many drinks. I got out of there relatively unscathed considering the debauchery that could have followed had I stayed.  I got to bed around midnight and hoped to sweet Christ that I would sleep well and would be rested for my run this morning.  Ah the hopes and dreams of the stupid...

I woke up at 6 AM, The Captain was meowing and batting my face with reckless abandon.  He was not going for a run. What did he care?  I considered his demise and he continued to attack mode my feet.  I lay in bed for an hour summoning up some sort of will, or hope, or moxy  to get my ass into my shorts and out the door.

It was COLD this morning when I started.  I kept my pace in check because I wanted to warm up gradually.  I felt good, all things considered.  I managed to feel good all the way through my first 3 miles. I managed to feel good pretty much all through my loop, even up the lousy hill at the end.  I felt so good in fact that once I got to the top of the lousy hill I turned around and ran the inside loop (the loop within the loop - 2.5 miles).  I ran a 10K this morning!  6.2 miles at a 10:19 minute pace.

I am feeling pretty good about this.  Now I feel like I can train with more intensity and focus because I have run the distance I am working towards.  Unfortunately I didn't gleen too much from my run.  I did learn one thing though.  I learned this; running makes no sense.

Running makes ZERO sense.  I imagine that my short run tomorrow will be grueling and in 3 weeks i'll have a great run for no apparent reason.  Some runs will suck, some won't.  It makes no sense.  It is total chaos.

My running group ran 12 miles yesterday (I did not partake) to a pizza place in Bay Ridge.  They had a huge ice cream Sunday after they devoured a few pizza's.  This I can understand and this is something I would like to work towards.  Running for treats is something that I can seriously get behind.

I have ice on my knees now and I am going to go do some shopping in a few.  I feel good.  I feel hopeful.

Ciao.

five miles

I ran 5 miles yesterday.  I had a pace time of 10:44.  Not exactly cruising, but I will take it.  I am trying to ease back into my routine and I assume that will take some time.  I am definitely finding it hard to get excited about my run each day.  I think the flu and not running for a week crushed my mojo a little.  

I am trying to pay attention to each run and the stages of suffering I go through. It usually takes a mile for me to wake my legs up and get past the initial discomfort.  After that it ebbs and flows. There are good sections and tough sections.  I still get frustrated when people spring by me like wee fawns. How do they run so gracefully and light?  I still run like the Tin Man in wooden clogs.  

I have been training sans music.  It's different.  It really makes me focus on what I am going through, the good, the bad and the ugly.  I find that it is mostly ugly, but that doesn't mean that there are not moments of zen, flashing moments of hope.  But, yeah, mostly its sucky.  

This is going to be a big week for me.  I want to get a four day week started (that was supposed to be last week, but the flu destroyed that hope) and I am going to start supplementing bike riding into my routine.  I want to keep the pressure on and keep doing until it becomes natural.  

It's supposed to snow tomorrow.  Hopefully it will wait until the afternoon, AFTER my run.   

Adios compadres!

El tortuga and the woes of gravity



That was painful.  9 days since my last run.  Laid out by the flu for an entire week.  Full of anxiety this morning as I dressed for my run.  I started briskly.  I felt light on my feet, my legs felt great, my lungs were.... strained, but seemed healthy considering they had been flu ridden for the past week.

I was, frankly, amazed that I felt so good.

I felt good for about two and a half miles and then the tank started to empty real fast.  I made it just over another mile and then had to stop.  I was a little bummed, but I need to put this into some sort of context.  If I run a 5K four times a week I will be in great shape. Also, i'm coming off of a flu and it's hard to start again.  For now I just need to get out there, four days a week, and do what I can.

Patience is key.

I want to consider whether or not it will be necessary for me to focus on distance.  On pushing myself to and past a limit.  If I run so far that I cannot run the next day... is that too far?  I want to run my 10K next month.  I want to build up to a half marathon.  Will I need to run farther?  Can I be healthiest running less?   Or am I just developing excuses?

These are important questions.

Ok.  I'm tired.  Buh-Bye.

Still on the couch..... sigh


Sunday afternoon and I still have the flu.  I am definitely at the end of it, but it will probably linger for 3 more days or so.  I am going to see if I can handle a run Wednesday.  I don't want to run if I still have flu fatigue as I don't want to exacerbate my recovery.  I do feel a ton of anxiety about not training though.  It's hard to lose the momentum I had been building upon.

I have been having some philosophical discussions with myself about the nature or running as it relates to me and my life.  If running, in and of itself, is enough and if distance, speed and competition is part of the conversation.   In my minds eye I see myself running as an act, as a solitary act where I can turn in on myself and tune out.  I see it as a health benefit for sure, but hope that it can become beneficial for my self and being.

If I keep running will I NEED to run farther? Faster?  If so, how come?  Is it about goals?  Ego?  Or, is it about solitude and peace with my mind/body?  These are questions that I have been mulling over. Is it masochism?  Is it about the overcoming of pain?

There is an interesting relationship with pain and running.  Pain is never not part of the equation.  It's as present and constant as an exhale following an inhale. Learning to overcome (which is definitely the wrong word) pain may be part of the path, but I don't know if that's it.  I DO like how Haruki Murakami sums it up; "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.".

Maybe running is not about the sun (or rain, wind, snow) in your face and a breeze blowing through your hair.  Perhaps it is not even about meditation and finding peace.  Maybe it is about defining a relationship with pain that works for both parties.

I think these are interesting questions and fun musings.  I also think I have been couch bound for too long.  I need to get back out on my loop.  I need to go receive my punishment.

Maybe i'll try tomorrow morning.....

Down for the count....

Tuesday evening I met up with some old, dear, friends. We went to a Szechuan place that I am rather fond of and ate like kings.   We seriously pigged out.  It was a grand evening. When I got home I drank some water, watched some TV and went to sleep.

I woke up multiple times that night and noticed that my legs were extremely sore and swollen.  I was a little alarmed because I was planning a 5 mile run in the morning.  I woke up a few more times in the night and started getting a little concerned.  Was I just sore from Mondays run?  Was it the sodium in the food I had enjoyed at dinner?  What?

I woke up Wednesday morning and decided to try to do my run anyway.  It was rough going for about a mile and then I started to find a pace.  Then, suddenly, at mile 2 I stopped.  I was exhausted. Out of gas.  I couldn't run another step. I walked the rest of the loop and then headed home.  I was really upset.

When I got home I realized that I was shivering and that all my bones seemed really sore.  I also noticed a slight headache and a lot of mucous.  My energy was really low and I felt warm to the touch..... AHA! I exclaimed to myself.  I have the flu.

SO now its Thursday and I am wrapped in a blanket.  I hope I can manage a run by Monday.  Being sick sucks.

sniff. snort. hack.

Feeling Groovy


Yesterday morning I ran a 3/4 mile warm up, a 3.5 mile run and a 3/4 mile warm down.  I ran 5 miles.

THIS morning I weighed myself.  I have lost 20 pounds.  I am becoming a believer I think.  I am pretty excited about my training.  I am actually starting to feel a little depressed on days when I don't run.  This new life style is getting pretty groovy.

I have been keeping pretty strict about what I eat and drink.  I feel lighter.  Internally and externally. I mean, i'm still 216, but I feel like I have dropped some baggage.  I have also realized that my world view and overall outlook is becoming more positive.  I am slowly becoming that positive puckered asshole that I have always wanted to kick.  What the fuck is happening to me?

The weather is starting to warm up and it is starting to feel like spring.  I can't wait for my run tomorrow.  Starting my training in the fierce cold of winter was a good idea I think.  Now I have a few months of warm weather to contend with before the soiled diaper that is August in New York arrives. I imagine I will have to run at 4;30 in the morning then.... Yuck.

"Bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible" - Billy Shakespeare

This is getting weird.  I have almost too much energy, or it may just be this second cup of coffee.

I'm out!

- El Tortuga flaco

Snow Day!

Much like Rocky training in the snowy wilds of Siberia, I also braved the snowy wild this morning.

Yup.  No biggie. Just me, my sneaks and about 1/16 an inch of snow underfoot and in my face.  I'm a stud.  Yeaaaaaaahhhh, me and my running peeps were out in full posse mode.  Funny, I didn't see any cyclists.... Their dresses must not have made it back from the cleaners....

I tried something new today.  I ran the opposite way around the park.  I always assumed that it was for the weak because you go DOWN the big nasty hill first.  In point of fact, once you get down this nasty hill you run flat for about 3/4 mile and then have a pretty steady climb for about 1/3 of the loop. Ouch.

I got home and had a smoothie and then looking at my Calendar I realized that next week is the beginning of my FOUR day run week.  Until my race in April I will be adding a day a week, Sunday.
I am excited to start ramping up the miles.  I am a little concerned about the wear on my body, but I will pay attention.

Got some chicken cutlets and ground turkey today.  Trying to change the old intake.  I also grabbed some duck.. so there's that.  I'm thinking turkey meatballs are going to become a staple in my diet!

Alright, El Tortuga out!

Why are my legs assholes?


Seriously, my legs are a bunch of assholes.  They make no sense.  They hurt when they shouldn't, they don't when they should.  They feel like tree trunks dipped in tar... always.

They suck.

2.5 miles yesterday.  Ran to the park, quick stretch and then did my loop.  I was not quite in agony the whole time, but I was not comfortable.  After, I did a follow up stretch and ran home.  It was like running on clouds.  I felt great.  Why is this?  It's INFURIATING!!!

Maybe I need a 2 mile warm up.  Or new legs.  I don't know.  I have noticed a remarkable difference if I stagger run and stretch.   I hate the idea of running a mile or 2 and stopping to stretch, only to start again.  I feel it in my heart of hearts that one shouldn't stop at all.  That this, somehow, would be admitting defeat.  I have an inkling that this is completely ego based and has no real resonance in my overall well being.  But again.  What the fuck do I know?

One day, I tell myself, ONE DAY I will feel good while I run.  I see in the distant future a vision of me running AND holding a conversation, fluidly and lightly.  In this fantasy i'm always running in the woods or along some incredibly awesome coastline with some equally lithe and springy partner ......  sigh.

Oh,  GOOD NEWS.  I weighed myself this morning and I am UNDER 220 for the first time in 6 years!!!!!  So there are little victories.  There are things to be excited about. I am doing the twist in victory, internally.  

On the diet front;

• red meat consumption is down significantly
• booze is down considerably
• eating lots of beans and lentils (my poor cat)
• sweets and chips intake is at an all time low

One day friends. One day.  I will fit into skinny jeans and look damn fine.   I will rock a speedo like I was born on Ibiza.  It will happen.  Oh yes....

- El tortuga