god dammit



So I am out for 6-8 more weeks.  I fractured my middle toe.  We had a delivery of 1,200 cases of wine at work two days ago.  I had a palette of wine that weighed roughly 2,400 pounds on a palette jack and I ran it right over my foot.  Ouch.

I have been icing it for two days and keeping it elevated.  I need to get to CVS and pick up some wraps to keep my toe compressed.  I am very bummed.  Its like the universe doesn't want me to train.
I am sure this happens to everyone at some point and i'm sure i'll get through it.  It just sucks.

I hope I will be able to ride my bike fairly soon as I would like to have some sort of exercise happening.  But until then plenty of baseball, Game of Thrones and Netflix for me.

addendum II


I drove up to my parents house in PA last night after work (2 1/2 hours) to see my cat, Captain Marmalade.

He looked freaked out.

He ran around like a crackhead for about 20 minutes and then it was all meows and purrs and kneading of paws.  We hung out and caught up on Game of Thrones.  I think he likes the dragons.

I had taken a ribeye out of the freezer on Monday when I dropped off The Captain and I cooked it last night when I, finally, got there.  I had it with some asparagus, pomme puree and a mushroom sauce that I made using some chicken stock, cream and cognac.  I may have gone a little overboard.....

I took a pork chop out of the freezer this morning before driving back to New York (3 hours in traffic).  I am going to have that Saturday night with a nice salad of greens from my mom's garden.
Sunday, if my cold is completely gone,  I am going to go for a run.

That is all.

addendum


Matt Harvey did not come through on Tuesday, but I still have high hopes for him.

The word hubris comes to mind when I think of Mr. Harvey.   He believed the hype too much too soon.  I think he will go through a period of reflection, perhaps gain some modesty and then move forward.  Or so I hope anyway.

Mr. Steven Matz pitched a hell of a game yesterday.  

The Mets are poised to go all the way this year.  Lets stay healthy boys.

in sickness and in health and with, or without, cat



Cough. Hack. Phlem. Gack.

That was on repeat last night.  I barely slept.  My cold, or flu, or whatever, finally localized in my chest and has been giving me grief.  I sound like a sick donkey.  I would have made soup but still no use of the kitchen.  I have been told that by Thursday I should be cooking again so that is good news.

I haven't trained in days.  I have thought about it, but as I am sick I have decided to rest as best I can until my health is back.  I am getting restless to train again.  To get my routine back.  So I will approach that with caution as I don't want to hurt myself.

For too many reasons to get into, I have had to leave The Captain (my cat) in PA for the week.

ALONE.

I have left him a bunch of food and water and will drive two hours to see him tomorrow night, but I will have to leave him again Thursday morning until Saturday.  This is filling me with TONS of anxiety and remorse.  I understand that people leave their cats alone for a few days, but this is a new kind of suffering for me.  I feel like a bad parent and I probably am.  Sigh.

Not a lot to report as not a lot has been going on.  The Brooklyn Half was this weekend and I really would like to run it next year.  My big toe hurts today for no apparent reason and my hair is getting kind of long.  The Mets beat The pesky Nationals last night with Colon on the mound and tonight Harvey faces Strasburg.  This also fills me with anxiety.  I would like to see Harvey reclaim his greatness and have a big ole W to help him regain some confidence.  Fingers crossed.

I will post soon.  Hopefully I can get a run in by this weekend.  I am looking forward to it.

the cold truth of a cold box of pizza



In the cold light of THIS morning I groped for a glass of water.  My throat was parched and my head a little woozy.  I had slept like the dead and felt like the barely living.  I went out drinking last night after work.  Not a crazy, hard knuckled, throw 'em down affair, but definitely more than usual.  And to make matters worse, on my way home, I ordered a whole pizza for delivery.

It was a rookie move.  Thumb-suckery of the lowest order.  I might as well have been holding my breath and stomping my feet.  I was just over it.  The construction, the showering at friends, the going to the bathroom in the basement, the whole lot of it.  So I drank away some of my suffering and sat down in front of Braveheart to eat the rest of it away.  With a large meat-lovers pizza as my opiate.

It was pitiful.

I crawled into bed at 9:30 and was just drifting off into the sleep of the stuffed when I got a text from and old friend.

Want to go for a walk around the park? She asked.

Ugh. I thought.  The last thing I wanted to do was get out of my bed.  I just wanted to succumb to the lazy.  Just drift off to sleep with the mildest scent of pepperoni on my lips, tempting the wrath of Queen Mab.

But I wanted to see my friend and sleep was a terrible excuse.

Sure thing. 10 minutes? 

I got up, got dressed, and went to meet her.

We walked my morning loop.  Just over 3 miles.  We caught up and talked about life, eating, exercise, her son, her work, my work, life and all that good stuff.  We talked for a while because walking 3 miles takes some time!  I was surprised how long it took.  Running it, apparently, is much quicker (even in my case).

After we said our goodbyes I walked home. I felt pretty good, even smug, about getting in a 5 mile walk after the pizza.  Once I got home it was straight to bed and sleep. Which brings me to this morning and the cold light and the groggy.

Sure, I was loopy and tired and cranky and a little sore.  But after hemming and hawing for 10 minutes or so I said fuck it and got out of bed.  I put on my running shorts, my new batman t-shirt (baby blue), my running shoes and my Mets cap and then, right after walking down to the basement to go to the bathroom, I headed out for my run.

i see the light. again.



Great, slow, run this morning.  Truth.

My legs did not feel like stones and, although I was by no means speedy, I kept a decent pace.  I figure it would take me just over 2 hours to run the half at this pace.  I would like to get that time down to 1:40'ish by October.   But I am not going to rush it.

I am encouraged though.  I have felt pretty run down since my race and I was having some doubts about sticking with it.  It was nice to have a positive outing.  Of course I am currently at my brothers in NJ and I have my own shower..... God damnit I need my bathroom finished.

The challenge is being able to train no matter what my current living situation is.  I get that, I truly do.  I think I am am just going to have to remain patient and train when I can.

My eldest nephew is back from college so I am making spaghetti and meatballs for him tonight.  

I love spaghetti and meatballs.

better than a cup o' coffee



3 miles this morning.  Better than 2.  Not quite 5.  But it will do.  I think.

I am trying something new.   Since my race my knees and hips AND ankles have been kind of fucked. Often, when I speak to other runners, I am told that I am over doing it.  I think they may be right, or that I need to learn when to push and when to hold back.  This morning I think I could have gone longer, but I held back.

I want to spend the summer slowly building up to a regular 5 mile run.  I had been doing that, but I think I got there too fast.  I want to start doing regular 3 mile runs 4 days a week.  I want to be ready by August to start training for my half.  I want to own that half.  I want to take that half marathon over my knee and spank its lily white ass (hubris acknowledged).

I am frustrated though.  I watch other runners just bouncing along with a freedom that I have only glimpsed upon.  Does this shit ever come naturally?  Will my body one day remember how to run?  I struggle through each run and try to accept the pain, but it would be nice to enjoy running once in a while.  My guess is it sucks for everyone.  They are just better at hiding it.

I am also becoming very aware of the role of diet in my training.  Since my kitchen has been taken out of the picture my diet has SUCKED.  I am finding solace in bars and cafes as I can't really hang out at home (construction site).  Baseball season SHOULD be great for training because I SHOULD be able to stay at home and watch a game while inhaling brown rice and salad!

Alright, ok. No more complaining.  I did feel GREAT after my run this morning.  Full of energy and ready to take on the day.  Better than a cup of coffee and a red bull.  I even managed to get laundry in and its only 9 am!!!!!

bloody rebellion and possibly a gout attack?


Terrible run this morning (yesterday morning actually. I forgot to publish... oops).

Most foul.

I ran 2 miles and then called it quits.  Like Roberto Duran, I "no mas'd" and gave up.   Oh the shame. Oh the horror.  I suck.

After I quit, as if to embellish the Duran metaphor even more, my nose started to bleed.  Like a fountain.  I left a bloody trail in my wake.  Like a scarlet letter it trailed behind me. Like an accusation.  Like a damning clue.

But, being that said... I bloodily walked to Hell Hill and ran up it.  And then I ran most of the way home (after a brief stretch).  Perhaps as punishment?  Maybe to quiet the negative demons pecking away at my tortured soul.....

And then it seemed like I was suffering a gout attack. Both my dad and my brother suffer from gout. My toe seemed like it was on fire for about 1/4 mile and then it subsided.  I think i'm probably ok as, from my understanding, gout attacks are apparently much worse and don't go away so quickly. Here's hoping anyway.

So, i'll try again Thursday.  My world is a little upside down right now.  My kitchen is unusable due to construction at my place so my diet is basically tacos, fried rice and burgers.  Also, I have been showering down the street as my bathroom is the worksite. I can't wait until my bathroom is finished. Oh, to take a hot bath after a run (or a cold one after a long run?).

I am still riding my bike to and from work.  At least I am not a TOTAL lazy butt.

Womp, womp. Head hung low.  Charlie Brown exit.

lamb, cold beer and a delightful beaujolais ....


Had a delightful 5 miler this morning.

Sure my legs felt like logs and my lungs felt like they had been taken to a cheese grater but, hell, at least I got out again.  I hadn't been out for a run since Monday so I knew it was going to kick my butt.  Nevertheless I got my, soon to be kicked, ass out of bed and made for the loop.

Last evening was a dear friends 41st birthday.

After work I stopped by my local watering hole and had three pints of Sawtooth ESB before heading over to a luxurious lamb dinner where I partook in roasted taters, caramelized onions, peas and buttery haricot verts.  I also partook in some delicious Cru Beaujolais from Jean-Paul Brun.  It was a great evening that culminated in the dinner table collapsing at the end of the meal.  Like a great fighter that spent one round too many in the ring, that damned table just couldn't handle the abuse any longer.....

Of course last nights festivities made this mornings run a little more challenging.  I was sweating like a pig after the first mile, but by the end of the 2nd I was running pretty smoothly.  It wasn't a terribly fast run, but it was good run.  Also, my knees and ankles did not seem too abused which was nice.  I think I may just need to take a few days off when things start to ache too much.  Makes sense when I think on it.  Maybe this is good for me?  Maybe it doesn't always have to be all or nothing.  Maybe I can learn to hang out in the grey from time to time.

Saturday after work I am driving to PA to see my folks.  I'm going to try to get a couple of runs in while i'm there.  That is if I, and my knees, feel up to it!

knee pain and the maladies of midlife



My left knee hurts again.  The inside of my left knee.  It's not a sharp pain, but a dull constant ache that refuses to go away.  Stretching has had no effect either positively or negatively.   It worries me.

I will have benefits again in a few weeks and I will go check it out then.  I hate the thought of it being something serious.  I keep hoping it will just go away.  The funny thing is that is doesn't hurt when I run.  Only after.  Weird.

I am without a bathroom for he next 4 weeks (due to renovations) which is going to make training interesting.  I will have to shower after runs at a neighbors house before I go to work.  I might just run on days when i'm off or close the shop (because I start at 1 pm).  I want to keep it to 4 days a week.  I should have a pretty good run this weekend in PA.  I will be able to run some pretty good hills.

Its been raining a bit in NY and its starting to get a little depressing.  Over all I feel kind of down in the dumps. It may be the fact that my apartment is a work zone, or the fact that my knee is bothering me.  I feel uprooted.

Spring is a funny time.  It always fills me with expectation.  I feel like a kid in the Spring.  Full of wanderlust and distracted by everything.  Highs and lows and yearnings of all sorts.

Man, my brain is a jumble right now.

Ok, off to bed.  I am rambling.

Sweet dreams folks.