fatigue or just malaise?


I did not want to run this morning.  Not at all.  In fact I woke up in the middle of the night and basically told myself that I was done with running.  Forever.  Kaput.  I even fell back asleep believing it.

This morning when I woke I felt pretty much the same.  I dawdled and fidgeted. I played with Captain and considered going back to sleep.  And then, begrudgingly, I put on my running shorts and a shirt and stumbled into the living room to put on my shoes.

My run was kind of shitty.  Generally after a mile or two you get in a groove and it becomes bearable.  But this morning I was cognizant the whole time of how miserable I felt.  I just couldn't get into a groove.  When I got to the Hill (no longer to be named Hell Hill, we've made friends) I tried to lengthen my stride and pump my arms (much like, I imagine, a Gazelle).  I cruised up about 1/4 of the hill and then my lungs exploded causing me to tone it down a bit.  I made it out of the park and ran up to the museum and did my stretch.

But get this.  My run was a sub 10 minute mile.  9:40 to be precise. This was a personal best for me.  And it sucked the whole time!?!?

So is this fatigue that I am feeling or just a runners malaise?  I am definitely getting into the higher mileage portion of my training.  Is this fear?  Am I putting off the inevitable because I know the inevitable is going to SUCK?  I guess i'll know tomorrow morning.

eesh.